Monique Baker Healing of a young single mother part one

Monique Baker is a young mother, she is 25 years old with one baby boy. Monique attends church in Chatsworth, California. Monique is a great young mother who has a successful business and serves her church and community. Monique has her own support at her church that supports other single mothers in her community. The motto that she lives by is becoming a better version of herself for her son, so that she can show him how to love a woman the correct healthy way. To love her community and anyone that God places in her life; To become a disciple of God and create disciples. She wants to love God with her full ability.

What is the hardest challenge with being a young adult and having a child?

The hardest challenge with being a young mom is the experience that comes with motherhood. There are so many challenges. Motherhood isn’t only for days, or months, it's 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, of a little human needing your love and attention. For me, the first month postpartum was the hardest. Unfortunately, I went through depression that some women go through when having a newborn child. The healing process of a cesarean delivery was a difficult season in my life.

Not being able to get up when my child was crying. Not being able to take your own shower. Not being able to drive. Feeling like things should be different. These were the things of independence that I took for granted! I had help from my wonderful mother and that was another thing I felt so horrible about. I couldn't even get out of bed to help my child. I felt like my mother shouldn’t be losing sleep because of me. When that wasn’t her job because she didn’t help me make my child. Those times were the most challenging for me.

What was your healing process like when you became a single mother ?

My healing process when I became a single mother was knowing from the start that this was going to be my life. There was no confusion about it. Knowing YES! I sinned and asked God to forgive me. Just knowing that God had mercy on me, and knowing that God does not want me to fail in life. God is not punishing me because I have sinned. The process of knowing that God loves me so much, that he would bless me with such a beautiful responsibility. Praying to him as a single mother has healed me.

Describe a time where you felt alone as a mother, how did you overcome this?

I remember clearly a time where I felt alone. It is the day I found out I was going to be a single mother. I called my child's father to let him know the news, at the time in my head I’m thinking “This is going to be the best phone call he can have ” considering how close we were … but NO! It was the complete opposite. He wanted nothing to do with me. At that moment, he was angry and not excited to become a dad! I felt so alone, even though I had so much support from my mother, brother, family and friends. Yet, I didn’t feel supported because my child's father, who was my best friend, did not support me.

I cried for a couple of days but one Sunday I took matters into my own hands! I felt the devil attacking me in ways I never felt before, it made me feel so unworthy. I laid in the dark and demanded this evil spirit to leave this home and that it was never welcomed here again! After that, God gave me hope and clarity! I definitely felt the holy spirit speak to me and reassured me that he was by my side then and now ! I lived a worry free life after that.

What advice would you give a single mother preparing to have a child?

The advice I would give to a single mother is always stay true to yourself and constantly be in the biblical word. Stay positive when things don’t go your way.

It will be often, but tomorrow is another day. Leaving past problems and situations will help you live more peacefully! Pray that God gives you peace.

Last but not least spiritually, mentally, and physically take care of yourself. Self Care is mandatory when being a single mom. Just think of your beautiful child looking into your eyes, they need you to have a sound mind because they depend on you to nurture and love them. Like how God loves us. God will love you today, tomorrow and forevermore.

Do you believe God and attending church has affected the way you raise your children?

Amen and Amen !

Yes, I truly believe that surrounding myself with people that are seeking the lord with the same mission has affected the way I raise my child.

Just like my son needs to get fed, I also need to be fed in the word of christ. Without that family and community support I probably wouldn’t be the mother that I am today.

My main goal is that my son is surrounded by believers in Christ! Kids observe what you raise them around. It makes them who they are as they get older. I pray to God that my son loves and believes in God himself when he’s old enough to make his own decisions. I look back to when I was a child and my mother took me to church, those few times were so impactful.

Monique Baker and her son for seasonal fall pictures. (2020)